Sunday 6 September 2015

DOCTOR DOCTOR EVERYWHERE, BUT NOT A LIFE TO LIVE



After a long time, I met my doctor friend of 15 years. He is getting married soon, so obviously it also became our topic of discussion. When I asked him about the girl, he told me she is also a doctor. And? And she is a good girl. And? Well, I hope she would have the same passions that I do, but I don’t know what she likes.

I knew someday this good friend of mine would end up marrying a doctor girl. His parents always wanted that, as if he is going to bring home a clinic, not a wife. Or perhaps, two doctors will give birth to a doctor baby. Or perhaps, they will have more topics to discuss at home, like new medicines, new procedures, new cases, new patients. Life would be fun.

Now before I proceed further, I want to make it clear that through this post I have no intentions of hurting my friend, because I can’t even think of doing that.

Two doctors, two lawyers, two techies, two entrepreneurs, two any for that matter, can make a happy couple only if they share the same passions, not professionally, but personally. Don’t marry a doctor only to open a clinic, don’t marry a lawyer only to start a law firm, don’t marry a techie only to make an app.

Marry someone only to make a life.

And ya, life is not about making babies. So don’t think that your decision to marry someone because he or she belongs to your profession would have a very positive impact on your child, or it would give an extra edge to your child. In fact, it would only give him or her the extra tension to perform better, to become like ‘daddy and mommy.’

Say for example, “Oh of course beta, you have to score well in Biology because your parents are doctors...” or “Beta, you have to act well because both your parents are actors...”

There are innumerable examples of children going wrong because their parents are passing them a so-called legacy. Look at your TV screens and you will find a live example in the form of Rahul Gandhi. Perhaps he wouldn’t have been a pappu politician if his father, grandmother, great-grandfather had not been in politics. He got that extra tension to carry on the legacy of being a Gandhi. He lost what could have been a great life in his struggle to become a great politician.

Taking the same example, look at Narendra Modi and Arvind Kejriwal who both have become great politicians without that ‘extra edge.’

Abhishek Bachchan, Siddharth Mallya, Tushar Kapoor, Amit Kumar (Kishore Kumar’s son) are all living examples of successful parents’ unsuccessful children because they were born with that extra tension to pursue daddy’s and mommy’s profession.

Having said all this here, I wish my dear friend gets to live his life on his own terms, I wish he has a kickass married life and doesn’t end up talking medicine all the time, and I also wish his children become something that they really want to be.

And ya friend, don’t open your clinic to make it a burden on your children’s shoulders, and hire doctors, not your wife at your clinic.