GUSSA ACHCHA HAI

I was a very aggressive person in school... they used to call me Hitler, and frankly speaking, I was quite proud of it. After I passed out, my friends told me that even my class teacher was scared of me. I still don't know the reason, because obviously, I never shouted at my teachers.

College came, and I found myself a completely different person. Quiet, shy and everything that I was previously not. The difference was so stark that had my school friends and college friends met each other and discussed me, they would have been sure both were talking about a different person.

Then started the office-office tales and my aggression came back, only to subside after a few years. I became calm, cool and composed. It reflected on my work.

Now, anyone would think that it was a positive sign, but by my standards, I was dead. I needed that famous anger of mine to keep the spark alive. But I had lost it, perhaps to please others... the same others who loved me because of my spark. And perhaps those others too never knew that my pleasing sweet side would not be a welcome change even to them, because by nature, that was not the true me.

Two weeks ago, my anger made one last-ditch effort to get out of the pit, and thankfully succeeded. It was a weird feeling of joy. I had expressed myself after many months of sleep. As if, as if winter was over... it was time up for hibernation. I felt free, I felt me was back. Me is not the sweet, me is the sour.

I realised that controlling your emotions is one thing, and changing them is another. In the process of trying to control my anger, I had actually tried to change it, killing my very being itself. So many voices in the world had told me that I needed to be sweeter. My fault was that I heard all of them, without listening to my own.

Just like our taste buds, people are different... sweet, salty, sour, bitter, and they are best left to just being themselves. After all, if sweet tries to become salty, or salty tries its hand in being sour, or sour gets all sweety-sweety, well, our tongue wouldn't really like it, will it?