THE REAL MAN

He used to work with us. A nice, calm and composed fellow. I never saw him shouting at anyone. His writing was clean and flawless, but his promos (or ads as you will understand them), were what took the pie. They were simply superb.

When he left around two years ago, I saw it as a big loss to the team. There were no other emotions. Frankly speaking, I had a belief that like many others, he will end up a failure after leaving the job. He wanted to start his own small-time advertising agency. A year later, he came with an ad film for an oil company. Then he got some award, and went on a tour to Germany. Still, perhaps out of ego or jealousy, I didn’t call him a success.

Yesterday, I met him again. He invited me to his wedding. There was no written invitation, no proper card, we are just supposed to be there tomorrow at 7 pm. And I know come what may, I will be there. After all, you don’t get to attend such weddings every day.

Islauddin is a Muslim from Mysore in Karnataka, and the girl he fell in a love with is a Hindu from northeast India. They fell for each other while they were working at our office. We never got to know about their love story, at least, I did not. After being with each other for two long years, they decided to tell their parents, fully aware that they won’t be allowed to continue. Still, they tried, and failed. There was stiff opposition from both the families. There still is. The situation is expected to turn violent, and that’s why they are eloping tomorrow.

I thought about them last night, and realised what is the meaning of ‘man’. A real man does not necessarily have six-pack abs, or be 5’11 plus with a deep voice. He need not be tall, dark and handsome. A man is not the one born with the organ, he is the one born with the heart. The heart that believes, the heart that has the guts to do it, the heart that finally does it. Islauddin is that man. The real man.

I am not saying that you have to be a Muslim, elope and marry a Hindu to fall under this category. You can be rich or poor, young or old... just have the confidence and belief that you will do what you committed to. Be it love, life, work, or anything between that. 

And actually, it’s not only a straight male who could be a man. A gay, without any offence, could be a man too. Because he has the guts to come out in the open and say what he is and what he wants. He has the guts to live his life on his own terms. 

Not just him, a woman too could be a man. Perhaps that’s why they say, khoob ladi MARDAANI about the queen of Jhansi.

As a friend puts it, you don’t have to be a man to be a man. It’s a state of being, not the state of gender. In fact, you might not be a man even if you are a man.